Almost Stage 3

Birthday is a Bowling Blast and Coincides with the End of Radiation

Well I guess if you have to turn even older its good to line that day up with something else good--the end of radiation in my case!  Uggghhh surgery, complications, chemo then radiation--someone needs to give this girl a medal! And make it with diamonds please!! I am now on Armidex, a powerful hormone therapy drug and I wish it was mixed with some weight loss potion because a lot of this treatment makes you balloon--like I needed that! Anyway, back to working out and organic foods (mostly) and maybe I will see some results.  On April 27th I hope to find out that I am cancer free.  Til then--this is how we celebrate birthdays here--note the pink giant breast cancer ribbon pinned on me!      

Last Day of Radiation and Not a Minute Too Soon!!

Burn baby burn, that's the story of radiation.  But this has been a journey for sure.  It has taught me a lot. Who my friends are--and who is NOT my friend!  Who is there for me and who is NOT. Who is whiney and who is strong--(when you go through this you don't have a lot of patience for those who complain of stubbed toes and the like). My staff has been beyond reliable and incredible. They are rocks and all went the extra 100 miles to outperform themselves.  They also were excellent about pointing out many blips in my life and telling me how valuable I am and who takes advantage of my generous nature.  They looked at the people and things I could give up that were not helping me and were stressful. And my radiation team at Rush University Medical Center was wonderful--Jim and Sandy were a joy to see every day. I will miss them but will not miss this treatment at all.  I hope anyone going through it will find a positive outlet as I have. It's easy to be angry and bitter--indeed you have a right to be--but get over it or it will ruin what's left of your life. Thanks to all who have supported me through this--cannot tell you what it meant. I will be updating periodically as I now start hormone therapy for 5 years and constant checkups to see if cancer is gone and if so (pray) make sure it doesn't return or is caught immediately.When I walked in office this AM here's what I found:  

 

9 more "radiates"--then I will glow for good

Ok whoever said radiation is a cakewalk is a big fat liar!!  It burns like hell and scars some people for life. I have had 24 full breast and underarm radiation sessions.  If you are told to do this ask about your lymph nodes.  Are they are being targeted as well? Since the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes, I wanted to know--I also was told by my lymphedema specialist that radiation there would make my lymphedema worse. So I was more than interested. Now I have 9 "boost" sessions where just the tumor site is radiated.  Every morning it's the same gig for 6 weeks and every Monday it's meeting with the doctor time.  They have given me the same gel strips used for burn victims. They are about 2 by 2 and you peel them off the backing and apply to your wounds. Are we having fun yet?  Tonight is a party for my BFF Candace Jordan celebrating her Chicago magazine article.  Being picked up by my dear friend Paul and John and Samantha are coming too. It's these times that help make one forget the days--work helps too even if it can be trying.  For those going thru this--keep up your normal life as MUCH as you can--if you can call my life normal at all! 

BFF Candace and me when I had hair :-(

Radiation Burns Like Hell!!

Ok 3rd week of radiation and my half a boob is burned and red....hey what do fair skinned people do when they are radiated 34 days in a row?  I heard my poor mother suffered the same fate. My sister accompanied her to radiation 23 years ago--she got burned--endured....and died anyway.  All I can say is thank God for those in the radiation waiting area who share experiences and ideas and remedies (drink Golden Seal tea, said one wisened African American lady of advanced years).  The people I deal with in this department at Rush University Medical Center are very nice and helpful--and mostly ON TIME which is miraculous in the medical community--but they can't stop the pain that one endures during any of these treatments.  So home tonight--using the cream that is supposed to make this less painful and hope the discoloration isn't permanent because being bald is about as much disfigurement as i can handle at the moment!!  :-) 

 

Dinner with Friends Helps Healing

So you must go on, get out, see people. I have actually made friends in the radiation waiting area. Whenever I feel sorry for myself I look over at the 28 year old mother whose 3 year old is going through radiation after chemo. I tell the little one that her bald little head is prettier than mine and she cries....so no time to think of me--which is best. Radiation is tedious, it burns a bit, but it's fast and next to chemo not painful. Last night I got out among friends and attended Chef Art Smith's 50th birthday party where Oprah gave him $250,000 for his charity Common Threads (Art used to be her chef before opening Table 52 here, the Obamas' favorite restaurant.) Seeing the little children Art and his group mentor and teach cooking to, well that was worth it all. I recommend taking all the love and support offered by friends etc. and also doing something once a week that makes you smile and feel grateful. Left photo of me with dear friend Paul Iacono at dinner last night. Right-Art Smith and Jesus receiving birthday cake from the kids!

Radiation Starts--oh Good Times

Well a cakewalk compared with chemo but still a pain in the tushie.  First off, it is NOT without unpleasantness--it's just that after chemo it's more like a little tap on the arm than the poke in the eye with a stick which is chemo!

However, the people handling my radiation at Rush University Medical Center are as different as night and day to the chemo area--the chemo area there is a dark, dank place where everyone is very brusk and wields a lot of needles!

The radiation people seem to...well.....radiate! So six straight weeks of this every day at 9:45am! Hope I don't start glowing....  :-) 

It's all about the LOVE!  

Final Chemo Round Still No Picnic!

Great story--way back when I was athletic I went to rent skis in Aspen and the dude asked me "height and weight"? uhhhhhh, "why do you need that?" I asked--"well if I give you the wrong skis for your height and weight you could actually crash and die!"  So I contemplated that-- then shaved 20 lbs off!!  Hey it would have to be life or death for most women to give their real weight to a stranger--but chemo--well that's the one that counts.  Your dose is based on your size, current toxicity levels, blood counts, etc and yes indeed you can die if it's wrong so I had to bite the bullet.  I am grateful this was my last round on Tuesday and only can pray I will never have to repeat--radiation is next then 5 years on drug therapy.  But most crucially the journey has just begun--now that I am in charge totally (because what I have learned is that no one else is believe me)-I have to actually devote the next year to doctor's checkups and demand the tests I feel I need in addition to those they may assign me. I also plan to go to the renowned Dana Farber Institute sometime in late summer to have a total checkup and "second opinion" about my treatment thus far.  Vigilance is key--I will be tired and hairless for a few more months but hope to be back to the same old annoyng Rhonda by spring.  Love to you all and thanks for the support. I will keep all posted as I continue to share what I learn as I go.  With my sister at Xmas sans wig!

3rd Chemo Treatment is a BITCH!

So I thought "gee I am doing 30 minutes on the treadmill each morning so I must be getting better!" That was between chemo sessions 2 and 3--as soon as I did session 3--that whole theory was shot to hell. The cumulative effect of the drugs is beyond nasty--hard to breathe after each minor task--up 3 flights of stairs to the office?  Remy pushes me up from behind--talk about loyal employees :-)  But still could not stand to miss time with my fabulous friends and family and all those who support me. Called the administrator at Rush U Hospital and told her I need to set up a meeting on the last chemo treatment Jan. 5th--one thing is for sure-no matter how much hype or commercials you see for all these hospitals and how they work in "teams" etc.--not happening! It's like pulling teeth to find out basically what comes next, how long will it all take, what long term drugs do I need, etc.  What I have discovered is each doctor has a job to do and when they are done GOODBYE--you just move on to the next one-and there are some long term effects that they do not worry about as long as they just get their job done--anyway that's my take. Demand to coordinate and to be HEARD!  My friend Bob Golant showing me support by wearing my wig at Xmas!!! hmmmmm-who looks better?  Happy New Year ALL!!

Reality, Staff Support and More

The misconceptions about cancer, chemo and side effects are amazing!  Firstly, most people expect chemo patients to get very thin and haggard looking. The opposite is usually true--85% of chemo patients gain weight because fatigue causes lack of activity and steroids and other chemicals in treatment causes a ton of bloat and fluid retention--5-15lb. weight gain is common so as if you aren't feeling awful enough you are now fat and bald!!!  Lovely--also the hair loss is immediate and startling--within 2 weeks of your first treatment hair falls out by the handfuls--I chose to shave my head to 1/8 of an inch so it wouldn't be so horrid when it came out but truly it comes out more and more as the treatment goes on--and secondly as I have said earlier the side effect of lymphedema is the most awful of all--the fewer lymph nodes they take the less your chance is of getting this dreaded disease so everyone fight your surgeon and make sure you are in control of what they do during surgery--my surgeon squeezed me in somewhere between his probably 10 other surgeries that day-not complaining--his quick action kept me out of Stage 3--barely, but I was so close and then the fight is much harder. But IF you have a chance--research all possible options and side effects before having any surgery like this!  And finally many supporters offer to shave their heads in unity--I say why should we ALL look awful? So some of my staff supports me in a different way!  See photo :

What Keeps you Going-Especially During the Holidays!

When WGN Radio was giving away a holiday party to a deserving person one of my employees sent this in:  He was forced to show it to me by one of our VPs--and all I can say is--this is what gets you through cancer treatment:  PS I didn't get the PARTY!

 

Even the strongest of women get thrown off their game now and then. A health crisis, a death or a birth can send even the sturdiest of employees into a tailspin.  However, nothing has shown me courage and strength like my boss Rhonda Sanderson at Sanderson & Associates.  Almost ten years ago, I started working for Rhonda Sanderson as a boy with no direction and no close family to support me. Rhonda gave me more than a job, she gave me the support and strength I needed to grow into the man I am today. For that alone, I am grateful beyond belief. However, when my boss and mentor was diagnosed with breast cancer, my amazement for this woman’s strength was pushed even further. As I watched her go through every emotion from A to Z, I couldn’t help but notice that no matter how bad things got, she stayed as positive and motivated as ever. Instead of turning this disease into a reason to give up on life, she let it drive her to live her life to an even fuller level. And beyond that, she still takes the time to care for everyone around her just the same, offering her office and family unimaginable attention and support.

 

Our office has always felt more like a family to me than a group of employees huddled in cubicles but I never quite knew how much that was actually true until we were forced to come together in compassion and strength when Rhonda was diagnosed with breast cancer. Throughout the past year, our office has gone through a tumultuous rollercoaster of emotion. From feeling grateful and happy just to be alive to feeling desperately angry and confused as to why things do happen to us at the most unexpected of times. However, the way my office family has come together and really supported one another has made me realize how happy I am to be a part of such a great team. There is nothing I want more than to be able to give back to both my co-workers and boss who is really more of a mother to me and show them gratitude for both their courage and support during this time.

 

Nothing would mean more to me than to be able to show Rhonda how much we as an office appreciate her than a spectacular holiday party.